Identity, Development, and the Journey to Discovering Yourself for Peak Performance (Part 1 of 3)
I remember vividly the moment it happened. It was 2013 in Surprise, Arizona. I was with the Texas Rangers, playing a night game against the Anaheim Angels. I had just been traded twice in less than 18 months. At that point, I didn’t know if everyone wanted me or if no one wanted me. I was in the midst of uncertainty, trying to prove myself, but feeling like the weight of it all was too much.
I was working through the heart of the Angels lineup. After every pitch, I found myself looking over at our coaches on the bench. I was searching for validation, hoping to see encouragement or approval. In the midst of it, I caught myself and thought, “How in the world am I supposed to get these guys out if I am constantly worried about the validation of someone else?”
In that instant, I realized something profound: I had to embark on a journey to discover who I was—no matter what others said about me. My performance could not be tied to the external opinions of coaches, teammates, or fans. It had to come from a deep understanding of who I was, independent of my performance.
Fast forward nine years. I'm pitching in Chicago against the Cubs. What was supposed to be a triumphant moment for me quickly became one of the worst outings of my career. A teammate, who I respected deeply, gave me some of the best career advice I ever received: “If you had a bad day, check the box scores because someone always had a worse day.” Well, on this day, I was that person who made everyone else feel better.
As I walked off the mound, I knew this would be my last time on a Major League mound. But what was different from eight years before was that, regardless of what the fans were saying, or what the front office or coaching staff thought, I walked off that mound with more freedom than I’d ever had before. My value and worth weren’t determined by my performance—good or bad—but by who I was.
This journey—of discovering who I was, beyond the game—was the key to performing with freedom, peace, and joy. And it is the journey I want to share with you.
Identity: The Foundation of Performance
As athletes, we often equate our self-worth with how well we perform. We live for the validation of coaches, teammates, fans, and even our family members. Our identities are built on our achievements—home runs, strikeouts, wins, and losses. But this creates a dangerous pattern. When we perform well, we feel good about ourselves, but when we struggle, we start questioning our worth. The harsh truth is that, as athletes, we can get so caught up in performance that we forget who we are beyond the game.
In my own journey, I had to learn that my identity as a person—who I was as a son, a friend, and a teammate, a brother, a husband, a father—had to be established before I ever stepped on the mound. I couldn’t look for validation from others. I needed to anchor my identity in something unshakable. It was then, and only then, that I could perform freely and without the crushing weight of self-doubt and external expectations.
When you know who you are, it’s a game-changer. Performance comes from a place of confidence and freedom, not desperation. You’re no longer concerned with whether or not people are watching or whether or not you’re living up to their expectations. You perform because you love the game, because you’re doing what you were created to do. When you truly understand your identity, the pressure to perform no longer has a hold on you.
